Have you ever asked yourself: what kind of person am I? When interacting with people, do they look forward to seeing you again? When people see you, do they feel comfort and ease? When you join a gathering, is the room filled with serenity? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How can we answer these questions? Can we answer these questions? In this blog post, hopefully we can take a quick journey together to better understand ourselves. Let us try to find a response to the following specific question first. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are we forbearing?\nBefore answering this, we may ask, why is this important?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because we all\nlive on earth and have interactions with each other. Through these interactions\nall of us will be harmed in one way or another throughout our lives. This is an\nessential part of being human. How we respond to harm will tell us a little\nabout the state of our mind and heart, our character.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Few in number are\nthe people who still hold on to this beautiful quality of the mind and heart,\nforbearance. This is the quality of being forbearing. But what does \u201cbeing\nforbearing\u201d really mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It means to be lenient, forgiving, gentle;\nto be leisurely in manner, not hasty; to be calm, serene; to manage our temper;\nor to exhibit moderation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It means to have a wisdom and a forbearance\nthat allows us to control our anger. It is an intelligence that, allows us to\ncontrol our anger, even if our anger is justified. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Given this\ndefinition, are we forbearing? If not, then how<\/strong> can we take a step towards forbearance? Let us quickly look at\nthe following five aspects to help us with the \u201chow\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1-Perspective<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n We need to change our perspective on\nwhat is important to keep in our hearts and what is not. Sometimes it takes a personal\ntragedy or a problem on a bigger scale for us readjust our lens. Currently, our\nworld is going through an unprecedented pandemic. Sadly, many people are dying,\nand any one of us could be a victim of this pandemic. In a time of need, what\nrole do we play? Are we selfish or compassionate? As we struggle, do we really\nwant others to struggle? Have we paused and reevaluated the actions we have\ntaken, are taking, or will take to harm others? Do we dwell on the past or are\nwe looking forward? <\/p>\n\n\n\n If we do not take this time to\nreevaluate our selves and change our perspective, then we might not ever be\nable to. Stop looking back and begin looking forward\nwith optimism, hope and love. Be forbearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2-Fluctuation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n We must acknowledge and know that as\nhuman beings we are never in one state, situation or condition all of the time.\nOur intellectual, spiritual, emotional, physical, financial and any other state\nwe could think of, are variables that can and do change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes\nwe are healthy and other times we are ill. Sometimes we are very happy, other\ntimes we are very sad. Sometimes we may be wealthy, other times we may be poor.\nSometimes we act carelessly, other times we are more careful. This is the\nnature of human beings. This is what makes us human. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If it was\nnot for this continuous change of state we would not need self-help books, we\nwould not need motivation, guidance, therapy. Sometimes we love, other times we\nhate. Sometimes we desire, other times we do not. As humans we are not steady\nstate. Our minds and hearts are in constant fluctuation. The key though is to always try to be in a generally\npositive or beneficial state in regards to our mind and heart. Try to be\nforbearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3-Realization<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n If it is\nour nature to constantly change then why do we permanently label and judge each\nother? Why are we so stubborn and not willing to be flexible with either our\nviews or actions?<\/p>\n\n\n\n People will harm us. They may even go\non a continuous and zealous movement to harm us. We have to realize this fact.\nBut more importantly we should, in an effort to absolve those who harm us,\nbring up the question(s). Is there a relationship between mental instability\nand the desire to harm? Is there a relationship between mental instability and\nanger? Is there a relationship between mental instability and vengeance? We\nshould come to the realization that there may be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We should come to the realization\nthat those who persist on harming us may very well be lacking nourishment to\ntheir minds and hearts. In fact, their actions and mentality are only harming\nthemselves. So, it is upon us not to reciprocate their harm. Do not fight fire\nwith fire. Rather, pour some cool water on it. This is the better way. This is\nthe stronger way. This is the higher way. This is the intelligent way. Nourish\nyour mind. Nourish your heart. Be forbearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4-Reward<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n How much\nweight is taken off our chest when we extend our arm out to shake or hug that\nrelative or one-time friend that hurt us many years ago. They hurt us and had no\nremorse. Yet, we chose to be the better human and we were instantly rewarded by\nthat feeling in our mind and heart. We were rewarded for being forbearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let us try\nto always extend our heart out to others. Even if we think, \u201cknow\u201d, they do not\ndeserve it. I promise you. At the end we will be the victors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 5-Epitome of Forbearance<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n What kind of person will we choose\nto be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here is a\ntrue, sad, yet inspirational story. On the night of April 19, 2015, in\nLexington, Kentucky, a 22-year-old man was killed when he was making a pizza\ndelivery. During the trial, the father of the victim, said to the man who\nassisted in the murder of his son, “I don’t blame you. I’m not angry at\nyou. I forgive you…” The father then went on to embrace the defendant.\nSuch powerful words and actions. What would we have done?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let us\ntake lesson from this father who forgave his son\u2019s murderer as the epitome of\nforbearance. Life is too precious and short to hold onto grudges. We are\nwitnessing this in our current pandemic. Let us live by the following statement:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have mercy on others so the ones in the heavens can have\nmercy on you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If we can\ndo this then we can better understand and\/or answer our questions from above.\nWe can take a step towards being forbearing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Have you ever asked yourself: what kind of person am I? When interacting with people, do they look forward to seeing you again? When people see you, do they feel comfort and ease? When you join a gathering, is the room filled with serenity? How can we answer these questions? Can we answer these questions? 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